"You are always at lost" am I?

ONE once said..
"it is okay, i always think u r at lost"
so it keep me thinking, was i really at lost??
i blame myself for the immaturity and the thrill of playing around..
guess what goes around comes around..
none the less, i have gained alot from everything that happened..

at time in life i really dont know wat tmr will bring..
For example,10 years ago i cant even imagine myself being in KL...thought i will spend my entire life in Kerteh..(how naive was i)
10years from now?
Learnt to live for the ultimate purpose in life..
painful past shall remind me of my mistakes in life while spurring me on to change the present and future without being affected emotionally by them..
thank u all for ur presence in my life...
and for those who r already in the circle of my heart..
i want to thank u all for being here always for me...
my family,my jie, my BrOtHeRs~ and 3 of YOU...
love u all...
Amazing grace will lead me home!!

i vow to bounce back stronger and better...

She came then She left..

She raised me up since young..
She sees me thru my adolesence and teenage years..
She help mould to be who i am today...
My vain-ness came from her...since i was 4, she will make sure kor n i look like a superstar when we go kuantan or anywhere...
After coming back from SJK Chee Mong in my primary years, the 1st thing i did when i came home was to sit on the dinner table and enjoy fried fish with my fav chili tat she made...
When i was 14...half a year staying with sis n her in Kuantan..
---Mum n dad weren around except for the weekend..with her supervising us...i used to hate doing chores...
The family moved to PJ ...met with a serious accident back in 2003.
---I was there to witness the whole tragic incident.
---God gave her another 5 years as she suffers from brecial plexus plain..although i neglected her at times...

Nov 2008-Dec2008
i was given the chance to take care of her..bathe her,exercise with her etc etc...
it was really a whole new experience for me... i burst and shouted at her for the 1st few days...
but later on, i have the peace and joy to go thru these routines with her...
i just love to sit down n watch her go thru her routines.the way she washed her mouth,bathe.. that is this unique n systematic way of doing it..
i learnt to enjoy the process of taking care of her..
i taught her this song while i was walking her
"walk walk, walk walk in the light
walk walk, walk walk in the light
walking in the light of God"

no matter how weak she was at tat time, she just wanted to exercise..we will spur each other on..

now tat she is gone, went to a better place...
i have no regrets anymore...
i am jus thankful for the chance of taking care of her..
urge u ppl out there....appreciate each n everyone while u still can

see u one day my mama...

i love u

will definately miss our times together.talking bout life
will think of u always especially during chinese new year
will instill in me wat u passed down..
thanks mama...

came back from pd and langkawi.. awesome trip..
aside some mild fever and lethargy effect....

love this pic...
nature beauty..
everlasting love...


stay tuned for more..

Light on *ting*

it is 1st of december,
in some part of the world,
snowy flakes dropped down from the sky,
while obviously in malaysia, it is either the bright sunny day or the dam wet rainy day..
but all around the globe..
thousands and millions of people go thru the same emotions and feelings each second,


the question remains...
how r we gonna face them?
well,


"Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Something I rely on to get home
One I can feel at night
A naked light, a fire to keep me warm"

'Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Even in the daylight, shine on
And when it’s late at night you can look inside
You won’t feel so alone'


random??
complicated??dun understand???only a handful will understand this post..
a test on how close u readers r to me... hehe..


light On me...















looking forward to tmr's futsal match... will enjoy my time...

Stuck but stick

it is almost a month i am having holiday...before exam, i could imagine myself enjoying and hanging out with frens most of the time... but i guess this holiday will serve as a mental challenge to me... because i need to take care of granny... yay.....she is 80 plus of age.. after the accident, she experienced bracial plexus pain on her right hand... weak and skinny as she maybe... but she is perfectly fine up her mind...

well, all i could say is that mama is a very systematic woman....since young, i still remember the particular way she would comb me n kor kor's hair.. without fail... the "karipap" hairstyle... tat was wat make me n kor stood up since young.. hehe... =)

now that she is old and weak.. after the accident years ago... it is my turn to take care of mama.. basically "nannysit" her..hehe... my maid was sent home for some reasons.. and house r without maid for 1 n a half months until the new one comes....

honestly, i used to dread it.. each night before going to bed thinking of my "routine" the next day... it makes me sick..it is already bad enough when i need to stay home all day long... (except nite time) now with this... phew....

few days back, as i was sitting down watching her with her daily routines.. i began to realise how systematic and organize is she.. almost everyday, around the same time, she will go thru the same routines...and the best part is.. she can remember them!!! goodness,i cant even remind myself that i am boiling water....

so, i have decided to take this as a test for me and family.. taking care of granny needs alot alot of patience and tolerance.. i am doing it pretty well... except for some tiny bust up... patience level increasing... woohoo... and determined to be more systematic in life....more organized with my plannings...

well, that is it for now...
finally,

i love u mama.... thanks for everything..

笑我笨

每個人都在笑我 笑我不知所措
每個人都說我們不會有結果
不會 不能 不該有結果 .......

but i believe, miracle will happen..
meantime, year of allignment =)

life.....
full of ups and downs...
what is it for??? to keep us going.. to prepare us for the future? so that our life will be full of colors?? so that others can have at least something to laugh or talk about??

u hyar qabrws ri aat rar u ewakkt ri kicw y xgwetk
akk rgwaw qguke id kicw abs xaew ewakkt aooewxuarw ur akir..
biq rgar qw e icwe.. life fiwa ib...
qukk oeat doe ye sakcaruib nt xgwetk..
y aew rge ibkt 1 u wcwe reykt kicw

=) tomorrow will be a better day!